So the date happened. I met her at Mama Themba's in Greenside. She was more attractive than I remembered although no stunner. We drank a lot and smoked way too many cigarettes and the conversation soon became quite flirtatious and flowed towards the possiblity of a kiss at the end of the night.
We ended up staying almost till closing time with our waiter clearing tables and chairs away around us. We were both quite drunk by the end so I leaned across the table and kissed her. Eish! talk about a sobering moment.
I've always been a big believer that you can tell everything about a woman by the way she kisses you. Obviously these are generalisations but:
Too much tongue - way too keen and probably very inexperienced in the bedroom.
Too little tongue or mouth pursed closed into a kind of bottle-capped sphincter - well she'll probably fold her clothes before she sleeps with you and then want you to do all the work while she just lies there.
Hands on the back of your head - you're in for a wild ride
Eyes open - can be a turn on unless she keeps them open all the time in which case she probably can't really relax completely during sex and has some issues with her body.
AND THEN...my absolute worst....
The Helicopter Probe - this is what happened during my date. The kiss started out ok. A bit of gentle petting followed by some seductive open-mouth kissing but then horror of all horrors she pushed her tongue in my mouth and started to rotate it around my mouth like a weed-whacker on full tilt. It felt like someone had thrown a miniature bouncing ball into my mouth and it was rebounding off of every available surface at lightning speed. I tried in vane to slow her down but it was clearly going to take me having to tell her to do so in order for her to calm down. I told her I'd be in touch and we parted ways.
I haven't called her since but I would implore all women out there - please work on your kissing (practice with each other if you have to). A kiss should be unpredictable, sensuous, it should connect you deeply with a person and take you to a place where you can find out about each others desires and passion, it should fulfill you in a single moment, make your heart race and your loins stir. When it ends you should feel like you've taken a beautiful journey together that's left you breathless and wanting for more.
I've kissed many women in my life but only with a few have I really taken that journey. I guess that's the appeal of it all and the reason we seek that one kiss that makes us want to spend so much more time with a person. I firmly believe a beautiful KISS with a person you're attracted to is the foundation for a strong, unyielding and long-lasting relationship.
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5 comments:
I've been on a couple of dates recently and have to agree with you on the kissing thing...One bad kiss from someone and they're out. Just like that. Nice post.
I just think there's so much in a kiss. If you can't feel what that person's feeling, it's really not worth pursuing. I love the prelude to that kiss though. Dating is such an interesting, nerve-racking and sometimes fulfilling experience.
Too true - a good kiss can often be the deciding factor of a second date or even if you want to pursue it into a relationship.
A kiss really can say a lot - I think up there with the tragedy of helicopter probe is the 'I am trying to swallow you whole' kiss. Unforgivable.
Now I need a kiss! Bugger. AND the problem with good kissing is that it makes you addicted. Why you should never have a one nighter with a good kisser!
Good post!
(JAMALONI! I think we have a serious mission for this evening!)
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